I wish someone could tell me why I hate this life.
Why can't I open my eyes with a smile?
Each day I despise myself even more,
Now I just hate my life.
I hate the life I live,
I hate the sins I commit,
And I'm sure God hates my writings.
They have become so dark,
So full of evil that it scares me to read them aloud.
I know that my writings are unappreciated
But it's the only way I dare to speak to Him.
I don't feel worthy to say His name anymore,
Let alone show myself in His presence.
Yet I can't seem to regret anything.
He gave me a life full of sins.
I tried to stay strong
But after sinning so much,
I no longer felt any guilt.
Sinning became normal for me
And I couldn't even bring myself to ask for forgiveness.
Even now,
I feel nothing at all.
Why should I try to feel any guilt?
God never heard me fall before,
What makes me think He'll hear me this time?
Maybe the devil despises me more than God,
Maybe that's why I'm still breathing.
Why else would I be alive?
God knows I have no intention of changing.
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